How to Spot Divine Discontent

So you mustn’t be frightened, Dear Mr Kappus, if a sadness rises in front of you, larger than you have ever seen; if an anxiety, like light and cloud-shadows, moves over your hands and over everything you do……Since you know after all, that you are in the midst of transitions and you wished for nothing so much as to change……

Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet, Letter 8

What is and has been meant by Divine Discontent?

It is not uncommon, in the modern world, to be visited by “Divine Discontent”. In the past, theologians have  described this unrest of the soul as a longing for a more complete knowledge of God and spiritual awakening. In literature, Rainer Maria Rilke’s eighth letter (above) deals in part with this phenomenon – that maybe it is when we feel ourselves invaded by dread and anxiety that something new is stirring in us, waiting to be born. The discontent is divine because it wants to push us towards a more whole and meaningful version of ourselves.

In its more recent incarnation, Divine Discontent has been adopted by the world of self-development and goal achievement. Here this particular discontent is not the usual banal dissatisfaction with the trials or monotony of existence, but a wakeup call which aims to tell us we are capable of much more. The symptoms have been updated for the new millennium   – from a more classical spiritual yearning to today’s vague but insistent sense of not being in one’s own place, of not living up to one’s full potential, and the anxiety and sadness that can bring.

The problem is many of the symptoms of divine discontent are almost indistinguishable from those of simply being a Millennial.

The Millennial malaise

Some key features of the Millennial generation (the generation born around the 1980s and coming of age in the 2000s) are FOMO, status anxiety and entitlement. FOMO (Fear of Missing Out), despite being obviously ridiculous, does cause many people a huge amount of suffering and unhappiness. It can manifest on a simple level (should I have gone to that party?) as well as a complex one (Should I have chosen a different type of life entirely?). It has ruined many a night out for me.

Status anxiety, on the other hand, means constantly looking at one’s peers to see who is achieving more or less and then adjusting one’s own sense of self-worth by the inadequacies or successes of those around us. It is exceptional at taking the joy out of any modest achievement.

Finally, entitlement means that many young people of my generation were simply raised to believe they deserve more than future generations might have. They grew up in a period of relative global optimism when western parenting encouraged self-esteem and a sense of possibility. In an entitled mindset, it is not enough to have a good job but rather a dream job which encapsulates all one’s personality, values and hopes. It isn’t enough to be reasonably content – one should be exceptional and make one’s life a work of art. Whilst we can see the positives of encouraging young people to dream big, it is easy to see how these traits could lead to an almost permanent dissatisfaction with the way life often is and yearning for more.

If any persistent discontent comes from one of these above categories, there is very little divine about it. Such unease goes hand in hand with a lack of gratitude or unwillingness to accept what we have, at worst a permanent, selfish and grasping desire for more. It feeds on low self-esteem and envious, unrealistic comparison with others. If, however, the discontent is divine, then it must be listened to and taken seriously, and carried to its logical conclusion in taking bold and possibly very painful and radical steps to change one’s life.

Is there really any way of distinguishing the two?

I fear not – at least not in the present. Only retrospectively, when we look back at a decision which lead to a more meaningful existence can we correctly identify the grumblings of dissatisfaction which preceded it as divine. In contrast, if after many changes, the hunger for more is still there, we can maybe assign our discontent to the less divine categories of FOMO or over-entitlement. The trick is maybe not trying too hard to identify which discontent is actually divine, but rather finding a place between these poles of radical change and acceptance which makes life more liveable in the present. And to be honest, liveable really is enough.